i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
