I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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