ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
