Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize