Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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