I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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