there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
