Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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