i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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