I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize