White coat. Heels.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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