Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
