I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I smell like Dick and happiness
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
