Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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