Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
