oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize