dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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