I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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