Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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