Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
