Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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