Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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