Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
