based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize