i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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