You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
