Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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