I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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