He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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