he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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