Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
