Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
