Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
are you so shy because you have an std?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
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Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.