My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME