He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
