after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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