Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
