her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
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he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
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guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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