Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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