Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
