You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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