I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
