i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Watching her eat just hurts me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
