Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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