I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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