its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
