I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is Oprah even human
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
