every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
