i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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