I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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