How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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