I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
