New invention idea: vibrating tampons
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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