11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
