Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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