just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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