we have pet lesbian snakes
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
