he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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