I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
