We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
